Updated about Aryssa Sophea

Maya's 'lil family, my second sister. Her husband, Ijoi and cute one, Peah.
This picture are when they going to Krabi.
Krabiiii...
Not yet be there.
Looks cool.
One fine day.
InsyaAllah

We missed him

Assalamualaikum,

Previously blogging, i wrote that how illness my brother in law are.
On 20th July, after Maghrib time.
We lost him forever.
Inalilla-hi wainailaihi rojiun...
And Al-fatihah to arwah.

First person who called me about the news are my younger sister, Cik Jima.
She cried non stop at that time.
Unpredictable,
I'm not crying, duh.
I already redha actually that evening, when my sister said that her husband oxygen level are at 66%.

But when she told me how worried she are towards the kids.
Cik Ziqa, Hafiz and bambam Anas.
My little tears start to fall.
I quickly pujuk dia how we as a family, always to stay stronger and give more than ever the best support we can.
That's only thing we can do.
And after that, i need my space.

I cannot direct back to Johor that night, because tomorrow i'm oncall.
And i have training programmed in the morning.
Job duty calling....
I can ditch the morning part but it's not fair to involved someone else to cover my oncall.
So, better i do what i can and ASAP cabut from work the next day.

Works... luckily not so busy that night.
And even cleaning trolley pun crying.
Nak makan buka puasa pun tak lalu even ada orang sponsor makan.
But have to stay strong in front of others.
I don;t want them questioning me.

And ,Alhamdulillah my leader understood my condition.
She arranged me to back awal.
I want to go back early because that night, my family arranged Tahlil and Yasin for arwah and included Marhaban.
I took a bus on the spot and arrived around 05:00 pm,
Because of delay one hour actually, Urgh!

Along the driveway home, my heart pumping likes crazy because i have to face the kids in different motive.
And my sister too.

The first person who hug me is Cik Ziqa.
How she told me, that she missed me,
And when i'm alone with her... She said that her father are passed away.
With emotionless.
I reply, is she Ok?
She said, she Ok, but she missed him too sometimes.
And i said, if you missed him, sedekahkan Al fatihah. And remember that I always will be there for her. Not only me, but her atok, nenek and all of us.

I donno, how careless my sister are,
Because imagine how six-years old kids can show you her skills membaca by sijil kematian her own father.
Too sad.

That night, after Isyak, the event started.
Cik Ziqa came to me and said, are this event for her father?
And i said, yes.
I invited her to baca Yasin with me.
She said, she don't know how to read a Yasin.
And i pangku dia di ribaan, and told her to follow me.
She agree with no complaints.
She with me until she felt slept.

I not helping much on that night because i'm also so tired.
Only helping a bit.
The next day, Cik Tira and me bring Cik Ziqa and Hafiz jalan-jalan to the beach!
Because that the only place where arwah (her father) and ours spending most if we want to escape from time.
And they really enjoy this.
Alhamdulillah.

I still remembered one time that he said, he likes to read my blog because a lots of Cik Ziqa stories in here.
And now, i missed one good stalker.
Al-Fatihah.

We always missed you.
= )

I may said to others that i'm OK. Because  a lie is better  than get their attention.
Kita tak tahu how our life tomorrow nor future,
Insyaallah, when i lost him. It's actually ada good hikmah between this.
To bring me back closer to the Creator.

Time alone

Assalamualaikum,

Please pray for my brother in law.

Hayazid bin Hashim.

He's now critically ill,

DIL, death in line condition,

And counting.

May he's only my brother in law, physically, but he likes a brother to us.

When i received a message how serious critical he are.

I cried alone, 

I need a space.

Because i don't want people to know how sad and heart broken i'm.

I took an emergency leave and bought a ticket direct back to Johor.

And straight arrived, my sister pick me and we go to HSA, Hospital Sultanah Aminah.

When my eyes fall to him, i felt sad.

But i tried not to cry.

I tried hard how strong i'm in front of my sister and her mother in law.

They more saddest than me.

Obviously my point weakness is family things.

The next day, early morning... i visited him again before going back to KL.

And when he said he can't see.

My tears start to fall.

I rushing out from the ward.

I can't take it no more.

I cried along from hospital to bus stand.

And when inside the bus.

I took the second last raw seat.

And my tears fall even i tried to stop it.

I think about him, my sister, his family... and the kids.

Cik Ziqa, Hafiz and litlle Anas.

How much can they take it?

He always a heart kind husband and caring father for three kids.

May Allah,

Please give him, my sister, and both family member the strength,

To endure this situation,

And to find the blessing,

And lessons that it contains.

Every prayer, i sent my dua for him.

For my sister.

For her survival present and future life.

Al fatihah.