ME: Am I dreaming?

 Assalamualaikum,

How are guys doing? I hope you're doing great. Today, let me break a good news. For time-being, I already give you a little hint in previous post about my next big project. It's actually so big that may change my entire life forever. Thank you Allah for this opportunity. Really and really appreciate it so much. InsyaAllah, I will work aboard in next few years...

My current work place is nothing wrong, they're doing great to me. The management, all doctors and colleagues are still fantastic. That's me...I just want to do more adventurous thing in my life. I want to set up a limit in my life, I want my to do everything before I'm getting married and tied down. I want to reach more in my bucket list before I turn 35 years old. I want to feel soulfulness and no regret later on.

It's actually a really hard decision. It took me about two years to decide either I want to do it or not, and took five years to get a permission from my parents to work aboard. I know they really worried about me and how my lifestyle towards a very dependent person. How easily I can blend in community easily and do something make they proud of. I also be interviewing by my sibling for the purpose and am I really doing it...Yeah, they care much about me. Thank you all.

In my friends side, some are excited and happy for me. Some got tears in their eyes that I caught. It's not I'm will forever forget them, chill. I will come back to Malaysia once in a while, my heart is always be here. Okay. I know they worried I'm not gonna go back and see them because I love travelling and even I stay at Kuala Lumpur, I still going back home not so frequent. Hahhahah... They know me well. InsyaAllah, I will be in Malaysia once a year at least. My parents is here!

Everyday...I can said, if am I dreaming? Am I real? Until now, I still can't believe it. I already finished all my documentation for it, just counting day here at my hospital. And in the end, Allah knows the best for me. Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah. You heard my wish, my goal, my prayer to work there. I can't do much without your blessing. Now, I'm ready to continue #onmywaytomecca next #bigproject2018 or #adibahnadmecca , to the #meccainmyheart #meccaforever! InsyaAllah, I can do it.

I just finished my advance-study last year at University Malaya and now I go again for what I wish in my life. In result, I need to pay the company back around Rm 42.4k in total, I will just give them what they needed because Allah already give me what I want. I lose a big amount of money but Allah give me back something special that I will remember forever and ever.

See you in next page. Love you all!

LIFE: What overthinking does to you

 Hai,

Let's see what overthinking is, thoroughly it is that someone thinking too much instead of acting and doing things. Their mind busy in analyze, comment and imagine better things about it, over and over again. They will come with no ending mind discussion, no decision making and a deep feeling that something is wrong everywhere. This personal habit will prevent them from taking any action. Someone in this situation always in dilemma that make them stuck in one place and waiting for the perfect time to act or move, but in the end they still do nothing. If the problem become more and more bigger, someone can lead to a psychological problems, later linked something like depression or anxiety. So, be aware of anything that you feed your mind.

When I was a childhood, I was a freely person. My parents raised me well with love and passion about how to be a good girl and get a greater life. I let my action make my day, full of passion, think smart and lead to the bright sunshine day in the end. I'm control on my own life, only me that will let everything happens surround later. I'm happy and to make sure my mind full of happiness. If I face the problem or mistake, I make them to the simplest sad and not repeated it again. They're good, and I'm better. And I will smile to the fullest with no regret. 

However, when I start the college study and working time... it changes everything. I start to see what the pressure of the world serve me. The most-reality slap me hard is in how people manners and the judging things. I feel insecure and overthinking about how to be perfectionist in stranger eyes. How should I sit? How should I eat? Is my body posture right? Can I do that? Or I can't? Yes, they control me and I don't like it. Those interaction make my day ''overthinking and so down''. I hate it so much. Randomly, people see it as a normal things in everyday life. They carry on and shied it with fake social media smile. I can't, the more I think-the disaster is coming back to me. My mind full of negativity and darkness, there is no light to even make a little better me. 

When I decided to continue study at University of Malaya, I plans to put myself in isolation zone. I limits people around me, and I want to know what I want to do in future. I don't need fake friends, fake face and regret soul influenced my decision. They will continues to fool me around. It's a no ending trap. Beside just focused on my study, I decides to do what I want. I start eat healthy foods, frequently go back hometown, I go to hiking, do more charity project, join football and bowling competition and contact with only important person. I even shut down my Facebook and main Instagram account. It's hard but I did it. 

Well, it's has been a two years actually from my big decision. Shortly I think and want to tell myself that I deserve better me. I want a truly happiness life and happy ending journey. Only me can make it happens. Only me. Slowly I want myself back and I will do it hard. It's feel so great and alive so far. How I do it?  Just reading the great books, make myself productive with good things, go exercise as necessarily, write down a journal and eat healthy. One more I can said, cut down all attention is surely worth it. The less attention and private I am-the freely high I can fly. In the end, I only come back with positive mind and respective peaceful people around me. My mind so relax and I'm so happy!

Right now? I run after my dreams and goals, not people. Smile!