My photo

Assalamualaikum and hello, o awesome readers!

I guess I'm pretty cool person because everything is strange. Life. People. And yeah, I don't know what planet I'm on. 

Anyway, thanks for all your support.

Sunday, July 31, 2016

Terlibat dalam masalah.


Minggu lepas, selepas balik daripada Johor.
I'm involved in troublesome.
Yang aku sendiri tidak faham kenapa ianya menjadi suatu disebut masalah.
Di antara rakan sekerja.
Sangat pelik.
Memang pelik.

That's why i don't like any attention.
Sorry to say this.
But... memang betul.
Sebab manusia itu pelik.
Mereka mengganggap semua benda itu adalah masalah.
Yang bagi aku, if you don't want a problem.
Jangan carik masalah.
Let it be that way.

Especially, don't involve me,
Don't drag me along.
If you see this as a big problem in future, don't sesekali ciptakan ia.

This troublesome actually i don't seen that as a problem.
But became a problem to others.
Why so complicated!

After this so say problem,
I think it's not my fault.
But, after a while...

Baru aku faham..
Setiap manusia ada cara kehidupannya,
Dan tahap pemikiran yang berbeza.
Itu adalah batasan yang kita semua hadapi.
Maybe this limit things is a sending sign from Allah for us to remembering each others.
I realize sekejap that aku may melepasi sedikit batasan itu... dan Allah actually created this problem for me.
Please forgive me Allah.

Terlepas pandang.
Thank you Allah.

What limit that i recall back are...
Allah reminds me of the limit between a men and a women.
The way back of bad and good in mingle around.
Beware of who you trust more when you need time alone.
Friends between married and single men.
Feeling may consider involved.
Take note opinion of others, if that benefit more.

I already minta maaf to all of them.
I hope they forgive me in and out.
Because again this dhunya, society and some friends telah melalaikan aku.
I want my old life back.
I have to against any attention.
I hope they understand why i manjauhkan diri.

Only because I want back to my Creator.
They may said, that are they bad enough?
Aku tak kata begitu... just keep the distance. And mencegah lagi baik daripada may this repeat again.
Because i'm too naive too say no.

I love my friends, So much.
But I love Allah more.
 = )

Even i looks sangat ganas, and not so called ayu to all my friends or colleague department.
Aku masih not memilih kawan...
But believe me, any person who reminds me to fear to Allah is my true companion.
Still haunting one!

Saturday, July 30, 2016

Updated about Aryssa Sophea

Maya's 'lil family, my second sister. Her husband, Ijoi and cute one, Peah.
This picture are when they going to Krabi.
Not yet be there.
Looks cool.
One fine day.

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

We missed him


Previously blogging, i wrote that how illness my brother in law are.
On 20th July, after Maghrib time.
We lost him forever.
Inalilla-hi wainailaihi rojiun...
And Al-fatihah to arwah.

First person who called me about the news are my younger sister, Cik Jima.
She cried non stop at that time.
I'm not crying, duh.
I already redha actually that evening, when my sister said that her husband oxygen level are at 66%.

But when she told me how worried she are towards the kids.
Cik Ziqa, Hafiz and bambam Anas.
My little tears start to fall.
I quickly pujuk dia how we as a family, always to stay stronger and give more than ever the best support we can.
That's only thing we can do.
And after that, i need my space.

I cannot direct back to Johor that night, because tomorrow i'm oncall.
And i have training programmed in the morning.
Job duty calling....
I can ditch the morning part but it's not fair to involved someone else to cover my oncall.
So, better i do what i can and ASAP cabut from work the next day.

Works... luckily not so busy that night.
And even cleaning trolley pun crying.
Nak makan buka puasa pun tak lalu even ada orang sponsor makan.
But have to stay strong in front of others.
I don;t want them questioning me.

And ,Alhamdulillah my leader understood my condition.
She arranged me to back awal.
I want to go back early because that night, my family arranged Tahlil and Yasin for arwah and included Marhaban.
I took a bus on the spot and arrived around 05:00 pm,
Because of delay one hour actually, Urgh!

Along the driveway home, my heart pumping likes crazy because i have to face the kids in different motive.
And my sister too.

The first person who hug me is Cik Ziqa.
How she told me, that she missed me,
And when i'm alone with her... She said that her father are passed away.
With emotionless.
I reply, is she Ok?
She said, she Ok, but she missed him too sometimes.
And i said, if you missed him, sedekahkan Al fatihah. And remember that I always will be there for her. Not only me, but her atok, nenek and all of us.

I donno, how careless my sister are,
Because imagine how six-years old kids can show you her skills membaca by sijil kematian her own father.
Too sad.

That night, after Isyak, the event started.
Cik Ziqa came to me and said, are this event for her father?
And i said, yes.
I invited her to baca Yasin with me.
She said, she don't know how to read a Yasin.
And i pangku dia di ribaan, and told her to follow me.
She agree with no complaints.
She with me until she felt slept.

I not helping much on that night because i'm also so tired.
Only helping a bit.
The next day, Cik Tira and me bring Cik Ziqa and Hafiz jalan-jalan to the beach!
Because that the only place where arwah (her father) and ours spending most if we want to escape from time.
And they really enjoy this.

I still remembered one time that he said, he likes to read my blog because a lots of Cik Ziqa stories in here.
And now, i missed one good stalker.

We always missed you.
= )

I may said to others that i'm OK. Because  a lie is better  than get their attention.
Kita tak tahu how our life tomorrow nor future,
Insyaallah, when i lost him. It's actually ada good hikmah between this.
To bring me back closer to the Creator.

Sunday, July 17, 2016

Time alone


Please pray for my brother in law.
Hayazid bin Hashim.
He's now critically ill,
DIL, death in line condition,
And counting.

May he's only my brother in law, physically, but he likes a brother to us.

When i received a message how serious critical he are.
I cried alone, 
I need a space.
Because i don't want people to know how sad and heart broken i'm.

I took an emergency leave and bought a ticket direct back to Johor.
And straight arrived, my sister pick me and we go to HSA, Hospital Sultanah Aminah.
When my eyes fall to him, i felt sad.
But i tried not to cry.
I tried hard how strong i'm in front of my sister and her mother in law.
They more saddest than me.

Obviously my point weakness is family things.

The next day, early morning... i visited him again before going back to KL.
And when he said he can't see.
My tears start to fall.
I rushing out from the ward.
I can't take it no more.

I cried along from hospital to bus stand.
And when inside the bus.
I took the second last raw seat.
And my tears fall even i tried to stop it.

I think about him, my sister, his family... and the kids.
Cik Ziqa, Hafiz and litlle Anas.
How much can they take it?

He always a heart kind husband and caring father for three kids.
May Allah,
Please give him, my sister, and both family member the strength,
To endure this situation,
And to find the blessing,
And lessons that it contains.

Every prayer, i sent my dua for him.
For my sister.
For her survival present and future life.

Al fatihah.

Wednesday, July 13, 2016



Aku suka dengan perkataan 'bersedekah'/ donation.
Iaitu memberi sesuatu kepada seseorang.
Aku fikir itu adalah sesuatu sifat yang sangat baik.
Maksudnya, yang aku suka sharing what Allah give me with others.
Dengan harapan,
Moga-moga kita sama-sama mendapat rahmatNya.
= )

Starting 2016, aku slowly buat donation more seriously.
Bila aku terfikir yang, it's only dhunya all this thing.
Where i think when it's too much as per needed,
I tried to give them to someone and want to stay away from it, as i can as soon as possible.
Lagi-lagi jika itu adalah benda melalaikan,
Astagfirullah al azim.

I want to make it's less drama.
Kept it's simple.
But treasuring in grab more, more and more pahala.
Aku berpegang pada prinsip...
The more i trust Allah, the easier it becomes to be patient.

Some cloths i give away.
Cleaning almari, dengan segala baju, tudung, handbag yang baik elok dan cantik.
Plus the branded tag also.
Especially baju yang aku hanya pakai dua tiga kali then don't want to wear again.
Aku lipat kemas dan packing nicely.
Two big bag aku dapat.
Rezeki mereka.

Give yang kita sayang sangat, rasa kecewa tapi kadang-kadang melepaskan adalah lebih baik.
Kelegaan disitu.
Jaga baik-baik okeh new friends.

My next objective in donation are i want to monthly transfer money for volunteer who menolong para pelarian Syrian,
Dan mereka yang berusaha ke jalan Allah.
That's why i said i like the word of donation.
Thank you Allah for the blessing.
Selamat beramal.

Monday, July 11, 2016

Salam Eid Mubarak 1437H


Baju, recycle from my bro wedding.
Tudung, sponsored by my sist Jima
Meh dondang lagu raya se-

Salam Hari Raya semua.
Tahun ini, dapat spent my precious cuti Raya yang sangat panjang.
Start daripada 01 July aku sudah cuti.
Wuhuuu... Awesome rasa.
Biar diorang semua buat kerja pulak, queen nak rest!
= )

Anyway, banyak benda yang aku nak citer but try to make it short and simple.

Sepanjang buka puasa, aku involve dalam bidang chef.
Bab-bab kena masak, muka inilah.
The only job yang permanently aku buat sampai raya.
Tak merungut but felt excited sebab one day aku buat diet meals.
With some salmon grill fish with rosemary and black-pepper.
Oglio-o-spaghetti with some prawns.
And potatoes salad with mayonies and boiled eggs!

Alhamdulillah, habes.

Kami juga buat home made cookies.
That tart nenas,
Almond london,
Popia nestum,
Oat chips cookies...
My emak buat ketumpi, tempeyek and maruku bagai.
I like this moments.

Other things, sebut pasal makanan... aku and my sister Tira and adikku Jima..
Kami kena masak juadah Raya.
Aku rasa my emak memang test anak -anak dialah.
But i took that challenge okeh, with bare hand and no risk.
I make the famous daging rendang tok, satay kuah kacang and the only ayam masak merah.
Thanks to google.
My sister buat ketupat, sate and her kuah lodeh.
My adik buat ketupat palas.

We did it!!!
All habis in a day. Jangan tak caya.
Daging rendang tok, fuh. Almost six hours i cooked that foods.
Nasib baik delicious sangat.
So berbaloi.

Benda yang lawak adalah kami cuci tingkap di malam raya.
Sebab memang tak sempat and tak cukup kaki tangan.
So, malam raya lah kami panjat kerusi did the cleaning job.
Best dia adalah sebab sambil cuti boleh tengok bunga api yang berdetum-detum banyaknya.
Ayat sedapkan hati.

Then, kami juga sempat beraya di Segamat, that second raya.
Met the all cousins and the only grandmother we had.
Try the foumous sup tulang by Aunt Midah.
And heading back KL.

Sampai KL, kami sempat jumpa all folks Rumah Asnaf .
Jumpa di tepi Petron. Sebab diorang tengah on the way gi beraya.
Give some lemang and kerepek raya.
Happy for them.

That weekends, i on-call. Hohohoo. Congrats!
Anyway, selamat hari semua dan maaf zahir batin atas segala-galanya.
= )