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Assalamualaikum and hello, o awesome readers!

I guess I'm pretty cool person because everything is strange. Life. People. And yeah, I don't know what planet I'm on. 

Anyway, thanks for all your support.

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Strong enough?


Let me make it clear. Everyone.
The quote above is really close to me.
Close enough like a phone with his internet.
And this is my truly express what i feeling through from the past.
Actual one.

I know,
People may seen me as a tough and strong person.
To any of my friends.
Even my own family members too.
But the real...
I just act strong, be strong. ..but inside i'm broken.
And dying.

When they know i'm strong. No one will ask if i'm okay or what.
That the worst of it.
But i'm quiet okay with it.
To me, as long as i can independence with my inside soul.
So far, i'm okay.

But, did i strong enough every time?
The answer is i didn't!
The always solution are prying and cried.
That what make me today.
Allah and Islam.

For those who heart broken, think you alone in this world.
Said others don't know what you feel.
I understood.
But logically, we really don't know your condition because we are not in your shoes.
But may try to be in your shoes.
Are you clear?

What ever religions you are.
Pray and believe to the Creator.
He know the better faith of you and me.
And us.
In. Future.


P/S: I think this character i get from my emak/mother. Who i seen as a strong women. And i admire how strong she is. She inspired me!

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Ziqa, Apiz dan Anas


Tiga orang budak daripada anak Kakak aku.
Yang si kecik boleh aku maintain cak ba-cak ba.
Acah acah sikit, bagi minum susu...tidor la bila penat.
Tapi yang lagi dua tuh.
Tersangatlah degil and susah nak paham.
Aku nak menyampaikan pon tak tahu camne.

Yang si kakak... kalau kau layan dari pagi petang, siang malam pon memang tak abis lah.
Dengan statement dia yang, okayyyy.
Logic nya pon ada.
Contoh la kan.
Masa tu si adik, Apiz ni demam and muntah-muntah.
Aku tak tahulah dia mkan apa.
Si kakak ni pon cakaplah.
"Apiz tahu tak, apiz sakit kenapa?"
Adik dia pon geleng-gelang innocent.
"Sebab Apiz tak sembahyang! Apiz pergi ambil wuduk, kakak ajar Apiz sembanyang."
Maka, si kakak pon ajorlah si adik sembahyang ikut style dia even kiblat pon salah.
Hah... logik gak kan.

Si Apiz ni plak. Dia categori active terlebih.
Semua benda dia nak karate.
Aku rasa ni kalau masok takewando. Boleh terus dapat black belt for kids.
Memang sumpah ganasnya.
Adik dia si Anas berapa kali dah kena.

Sebab tu si kakak bila tahu dapat baby boy, Si Anas, dia tak nak.
Nak tukar... nak baby girl.
Sebab tak ada orang main dengan barbie dia.
Kalo ajak Apiz, sure kaki dan tangan entah kemana... and tak nak adik lagi yang ganas macam Apiz.
Tapi Apiz and Anas just like whatever sist.
We're sibling.
No one can change that.

And baru-baru nih, 
Si kakak reminds adik lelakinya, bahawasanya:
Anas bila dah besar duduk rumah nenek dengan Apiz.
Anas pon terkekeh ketawa bila kakak dia cakap.
Macam lagaknya paham lah.
Maka si kakak pon menarik nafas lega.
Ziqa, ziqa.

Tapi whatever it is...
Even aku boleh naik gila jaga mereka nih.
They still taming my heart in their own way.
So cute.

Si Anas and polka-dot

Tetiba datang si kakak nak interframe!

Monday, September 28, 2015

Beauty me


One thing about me you need to know is i don't like wearing any make up.
Believed or not,
I'm may just stick with my one and only natural collagen lipstick and that's all.
No those compact powder..
No eyeliner or, 
Freaking colorful eye-shadow! 

My combination skin not have so much probs.
May as my hormone in good level.
So i can survive with simple cleanser, and mask.
Or i can said the cheapest.
To keep it in best condition.

I don't like feeling of double layer to my face
I don't like making any 'stupid' art to my face.
I like it go with what it goes.
Me and my natural beauty.
I don't care what people say...
No glowing or whatever it is,
Because I'm not gonna wasting my time to clean up everything after end of the day or for praying time.
I can save that for my sleeping time.

In addition,
Even i'm the glasses type.
But i'm not wearing any contact lenses.
Not dare to try and act like wanna poke my own eyes.
Scary enough!
May on my big day i will think about it.
Or maybe not in millions years.

Nail polish?
No, no...
Not fans of it.

For those muslimah who like wore those make up.
I'm not against all of you.
I'm not say it wrong.
Because i know some may wore this as their confident booster.
That can cover any panda eye, scars, pimples.
And luckily it works!
Happy for them.

Just my advises keep it medium or don't over.
People may don't said anything but maturity tells.
And be watch out if you want to pray.
Make sure your face and body are clear.
You know what i mean right.
Water can freely flow...
To make sure that anyone will not judge you.
: )

Yeah! Indeed.

Sunday, September 27, 2015



None i follow on Instagram,
But I likes stalking around.
And it's really interesting. May added as my fav hobbies in future.
I'm not sure if you're following one of the Prince of Johor's Instagram, Tunku Idris (TTJ).
And aware the statement about his sister, TTA (Tunku Aminah).
Who being judge by others.

Here I wrote back for those who miss:

"When i see comments about my sister not wearing a tudong it does tick me off.
I know that she prays more than some of those that covers their heads, she wears 'selendang' at all religious events.
Is it not good enough? Isn't it between her and Allah?
Isn't that a sinful things to do to her?
Why don't we turn our heads and not look if it's such a sin?
Some people tends to forget about culture as well, we are Malays and not Arabs.
Dressing up like an Arab doesn't make us any more religious. 
Burkas, yea it's to cover the 'aurat' but it's also a cultural attire and not just religious, in the middle east it protects those wearing it from the elements such as sand storms and also the scorching heat.
One 'orang alim' told me once, you cover your face if you're really beautiful and could cause distraction to others.
I know TTA doesn't care about what people think of her but as brother i do. 
I'll stand for her and also my beloved mother, aunts, cousins and sister in law.
Reminds those who are around you first before reminding someone who you don't even know personally."

Behalf of my opinion about this things are.
...I hope non will misunderstand with my next words...
Wow and just wow.
Very well said Tunku!
I called this is as a modern idea and companionship of siblings.
The idea of it is basically the same as protection.
Protection means that he do the best from everything, from sadness, from difficulty.
For his lovely sister.
Two thumbs up for him protecting her in every single way.

Even i know cover the aurah/aurat is a serious commitment.
That it's wajib/ a must.
But i believe, he also know, she also know... we also know this fact. No need for me to explain why.
Neither i nor my magical keyboard will fight over this.
Not really wants offended anyone.
Because what he said is reasonable.
That it's between her and Allah.
Like people always pretend, kubur lain-lain. Azab lain-lain.

This remind me about a prostitute who protect and care a dog.
That you know about that stories?
How Allah is a forgiver.

For me,
Just like i always said, 
Please love Allah more.
Try your very best and have faith to Allah.

Little things will start adding up to this issues.
Trust me.
People like blame, judging and think themselves are better.
This are common manners.
Not only Malay... but everywhere.
If he/her or us have mercy of Allah.
Regret and never lose hope...Never decline even may of some commit sins.
Then Allah may a space between those hope.
Times will change everything.

Like those some who not agree with me.
That i'm not brave enough to deal with what's wrong and right with Islam.
As law may arrest me to fight with royal class.
Just remember, I also not perfect,
But try hard to be one.
I'm not against him or anyone. I'm also Johorean.
I respect him, his statement, his right and value.
And his life.

Just let me...
Share you a very good advises from Mufti Ismail Manek.
May Allah bless TTJ,TTA and ours.

P/S: An honor to put him as my first person i follow.

When you see a female dresses in a manner that is unacceptable Islamically, do not for a moments think that she is lower than you spiritually. If you do that, you are lower than her. Believe me, that is the teaching of your religion. She might have a link with her creator that you do not know about. She might have a heart that is tons better than yours. She might have one weakness that is outward, and you have 50 weakness that are hidden. Mufti Ismail Menk.
: )

Friday, September 25, 2015

Swim, peah...swim...

Look at that face! How eager she can be.
: )
Not bad, Peah.
Next time your Baba will let you go by your own.
In one fine day...
May after you learnt how to crawl and take a first step.

Peah will be pro swimmer later.
Will teach aunt how to swim also.
And it's a must!


Would you?

So may i know your answer.
Is it yes or no.

How about me?
I'm may said a big no.
Even it's have a gun in front of me.
I know my heart may not too cruel.
I'm easily pity to someone.
How can i do that.

To save a life?
I sacrifice others life to save another life.
Why not i protect both.
At least no one be a victim.
And no regret later on.

I want a peace.
Not a pieces.
Stop a war, stop being a killer.
Stop an abortion.


Thursday, September 24, 2015

Dear my future husband

Dear my future husband,

Directly i want to say that when we meet later. Don't proposing me to be your girlfriend.
I don't want to be your girlfriend.
Massively no.
I may reject that red roses, shining ring and become all such a awful moments.
Because I just want to be the one you call as your wife.

I may to rush in this things.
By the way this difference between me and other women, is that, all they wanted to have all those.
Me on the other hands...
I indeed who wishing and dreaming.
Just as i know my limit to Allah and lower my gaze.
And when to said no.

I pray you understand me.
That i still wishing you'll be my halal prince charming.
Who holding onto the Quran in your right hand and the Sunnah in the left hand.
And riding your horse of Taqwa.
Tame me and save me.
On the spot.
I hear you're worth the wait, so i'll wait.

"Marry a man who fears Allah so he will treat you right because of his fear to Allah"
I not aspect that you are a perfect husband in future.
'Cause i'm also not not a perfect person.
But i aspect you,
Who is not the one who calls me for only romantic talk... but he who calls me five times for prayer.
As my rules...
That a man who cannot lead me in Salah,
Cannot lead me in life.

My apologize,
I don't make my wedding day a pleasant memory in this life, but source of misery in the next.
Which when you do marry me,
I hope you do it so with the intention of Jannah where you plan to hold my hand and carry me together.
Just like some said, true love doesn't end... it continues in Jannah,
And then i know you love me endlessly.

Our stories may not as others lover,
Non a grateful to share.
Since when do love stories end in weddings?
Because we only just started from here.
This second.
And you become my chills.

From all above.. they may will said,
Someone like this? I never found a man good enough for this.
Or i will never get married.
May never or who know.
I plan, Allah is the master mind.
No one can against it.

Let me tell you one secret,
I am a hard person to love but when i'm in love... i love really hard,
Allah is my only one.
Prophet of Muhammad is my strength.
And my family are my prove.
One day you not only a love, a strength, a inspired to me.
But everything to me.
One fine day.

Bring me to paradise.
I wonder what is my future husband doing right now.
: )

Aidiladha 1436 H/2015


Today we celebrated the biggest Eid.
And today i cried so much.
I try to pretend i'm okay but i'm cannot.
I'm so emotional lately.

Firstly may because the live video from Mecca and Madinah, i seen in my phone.
This apps is really good.
I touch the screen. 
I cried and cried.
Such a beautiful view.

I hope one day i'm the one of them.
Be there and had a word with Allah.
Serve Him and pray a lot.
Until my body cannot bare anymore.
I want that feeling.
I want to felt it.

Then, i cried when i had to celebrate alone.
Here in KL.

Yesterday, after work i planning to go back Johor even for one day.
But i'm failed.
Too many people had a same plan with me.
Long q even for a food.
And i go back home with a sad heart.
In the mid of walking, i cried too.

Such a weak person i'm.
I know.
I donno how to stop this.
I already bought a plenty of ice-cream.
Hope to stop my emotional status.

My parents said, everything will be okay.
My brother also invite me to celebrate with his family.
But i reply, it's okay.
But indeed i'm not okay.
Then, i cried again.

Monday, September 21, 2015

Hal Kahwin: Sunnah vs Society


First of all... i want directly mention that if you feel uncomfortable about my next statement.
You can immediately stop reading and log out of my blog.
Yes, i'm not talking a racist things but averagely what my religion teach me.
Just spreading the knowledge and sunnah.
... This is my own post.
And it's my right.

My main focus is about wedding ceremony vs society.
Because i know it's school holiday now...and surely lots of  invitations are on the list.
We go and bless them, and cheers the event.
Truly good.
It's a positive way in bonded the relationship but instead some are unlike in right path indeed.
That i'm afraid of.

Truly, i know that wedding ceremony is a big day in everyone life.
We'll want the best and the greatest.
Me too.
Some may say that this nonsense thing are trends.
Or others may a victim... Being forced to do a decision.
Grand or not or, some may not come.
Duh, hard enough.
Because this ceremony is like a competition contests as i seen so far.
Day by day.
And they became addicted in doing comparison.

My suggestion. For who want ranking, attention liker... just put your right hand at left chest and ask your Iman.
Did you notice, are this follow the sunnah or you only playing part with the society.
You felt satisfied and really no regret later on?
Confident your ceremony will be fully bless?
The soul of blessing from Him i'm talking about.
If you feel so... go on and just do it.

I love this picture. very. much.
Someone who under mid of tight decision. 
Think about them who like 'jaga tepi kain orang'.
Directly... who's care?
Yeah, until Kiamat/end the Day... this things will never faded,
But did you realize or come on, be alert.
This is your day. 
This is your decision.
This is your life.
This is your money.

Crazy, who created this?

In this phase,your can see how supportive and Islamic your spouse are.
How leadership and gentleman, he can be.
You will win every battle if you fight together, and you will lose if every battle you fight alone.
Impressed them, make them speechless.
Do a presentation if needed. 
Nothing benefit if we please surrounding.
Rather than the peaceful blessed we get from Him.

Nikah/Marriage in in Islam is simple.
Bride, Groom, Custodian from the bride side, two witness and akad (qubul).
That's it.
Perfect conditions to build a mosque.
Beautiful and bless.
Then, when we combined it with all society, culture, traditions... suddenly everything becomes long and complicated!
Astagfirullah al azim.

Last words, 
If your spouse... your parents... your society... respect who you are.
They will let you make a good decision.
Because they understood and support that you never could start your new life without Allah's pleasure.
Happy ending.

Please and please prefer sunnah over traditions, keep your wedding simple!
: )

Sunday, September 20, 2015

Recipe: Ayam dan kentang panggang bersama Rosemary.


My first thought about this recipe it's actually from lebihan sambal kisar dalam peti ais... and i try marinate ikut suka hati.
Kebetulan memang stock rosemary memang ada,
So i choose western style!
Like you know, grilled rosemary potatoes and chicken ala Malay style.
And the result is rocking me to the sky.
: )

Main herbs, rosemary.
You can get this from any supermarket.
Tesco or also available at small mart.
The smell is so refreshing.
Dia punya kegunaan like ketumbar, cengkih.
Pembangkit bau dan rasa masakan.

I have done this recipes quite a lot and it's so delicious.
Even my friends fans of it so much.
My family?
Not yet surprising them. May be later.
I can make it when dinner time.
My ayah surely love this.

Orait, Bahan-bahannya adalah:
1) Sambal yang dimasak, yang telah diletak bawang dalamnya. Banyak? Ikut suka kepedasan masing-masing. Or if malas nak masak-this bahan boleh skip. But the onion/bawang can put together while you grilled.
2) A chicken. Ayam seekor or ayam itu boleh dipotong. I prefer ayam yang dipotong but in big chunk. Selain cepat masak, the marinate is more lovely.
3) Kentang. Potatoes as much as you like. I cut in half all of them.
4) Bit of salt. Garam depends on how much your chicken are.
5) Rosemary as the main herbs. How much? May be a perfect chicken/seekor penuh, you can put a spoon and half of rosemary.
6) Oil. Little only minyak. Sebab your chicken will cried out their juice so we limited it.

1) Marinated all from no 1-5. Those sambal, ayam, kentang, salt and rosemary in one bekas dan tutup. Put in a fridge a day/half day. Untuk bagi meresap rasanya.
2) Then heat up your pan/oven. And put all inside.
3) Cooked until masak.
4) Done! Grillled Rosemary Potatoes and Chicken!

So dem satisfying!
My own pix 90% like this but minus the lemon. And replace with potatoes.
Selamat mencuba.

Monday, September 14, 2015

How long have i been ugly


Trust me, this is what i truly feel... when i wore hijab all day long.
Then to make this story nicer, it is the busiest day of my life.
Pretend everything are okay.
Even actully my world seems gonna end.

Did all as fast as i can.
Smiling and smiling again.
So, after finish and time to go the ladies... omaigod!
What the fish.
Did i seen a ghost in a daylight?

Not even i'm complaining.
Cover our aurat is most important.
You know...i,
Just want to share the feeeeling.

After years, 
Now I know the formula.
I decided to wear something comfortable and simple.
Square scarf as example.
And feel free.

Another good tips, if i still have to wear something funtastica hijab...
Just make sure i have a time to fix myself.
It's my right, yo.
: )

Nanti taklah kakak aku pengsan nengoknya.

Saturday, September 12, 2015



When i talk about one of the basic of life,
I happily want to share about it.
Mostly i appreciate how delicious it is.
The way their making it until serving style.
The best part is where, enjoying sits in the five stars hotel .
'Lil amount to taste, more expensive but still too precious to us.
And be proud of it.

In the mean time, 
While i had fun in other world...
There is one side world where they truly no food to eat.
Not even a slice of bread.
Sometime, no water to drink.
And the children sleeping in hungriness.
How survival they are.

Why i talk so emotional about food is when i found this quotes:
"There is more fruit in a rich man's shampoo than a poor man's plate."
It's so trueee...
Even i just simply not rich ever, but when i read this quotes, i feel like one.
But i don't know the other richest than me.
How they feel.
Are they feel bad as me or ignoring the facts.

Really, this quotes is directly touching my heart!
I gonna cry, but i don't know how to help them.
Blame myself...
How i can be so selfish!

I pray to Allah... He's to bless them.
I hope one fine day, they have a freedom in food.
Like me.


Friday, September 04, 2015

Less and more in life


One peaceful day, when i be alone under a tree.
With a cup of tea.
I start thinking about myself in every prospective...
In Islam and general basis.
Then, i through the phase of seeking the meaning of life.
That's caught me hard.

Even though sky is the limit.
But i seems like going down, down and all down...
With all the things i not take it as serious it should be.
And then become sins collection.
Day by day.
I felt bad.
Or it just my delusion?

Partly, gadget and technology are my BFF.
Got pro's and con's.
Some things, they hide all my senses.
And deactivate my soul alertness.
... I blame them!
But i blame myself too.

In the meantime, overall... i realize too that i need a less and more in life.
What i should less in some things and vise versa.
Like below picture that i found last week.
More benefit and like more practical.

: )
Now i smile to you.

Thursday, September 03, 2015

Pelaburan emas/ Gold investmet


First of all, i just want to say... yang aku bukanlah too pro untuk talk about this kind of investment.
And not very familiar enough.
Tapi why not... aku share story about my own gold investment.
As long as maybe beri some benefit for you all who first time or yang masih teragak-agak untuk invest in this kind of pelaburan.

My aim goals about this is a long term investment... that image as my second saving life support.
Parallel with our economy where not nice to discuss,
I don't want involving on the inflation.
So, i pick golden thing. 
Which i believe when money is no price, gold and silver dominant the market.
And next i invested in it.

I take a whole year for be sure-sure-and surely- confirmed before i invested in it.
Means last year.
About when the best time to invest.
I survey about which bank is better,
Islamic or not.
Lasting enough and validity approval.
Inflation and all summarize to it, lah.
Who want take a risk?
Saper yang nak rugi, right?

My first pelaburan pada bulan Febuary tahun ini.
Yup... i took that first baby step.
And i'm happy with it.
I choose Kuwait Finance House bank (KFH).
And where one of the branch is at KL Central...
Easy for me.
As a note, at JB also have.
: )

Image result for kfh

Why i choose KFH?
Firstly, because of they run it beyond Islamic way.
Satisfied enough.
Second, its international gold.
: )
You know what i mean right.
Third, even it's not pure gold...or 999, just 995...but who cares?
Next, i put my trust in it.

My special tip before you invest in mana-mana pon just full your brain with 'lil bit info of what you're doing.
Nanti takde lah nyesal.
Ye dak.
Ask your parents, friends and whoever give a best comment...
Bank to bank.
Compared all those and pick the best! It's your choice.

Happy invest guys!

Wednesday, September 02, 2015

Pemikiran yang tergantung


Four days ago, i took a train from Kl Central to Terminal Bersepadu Selatan. 
On the way there is bit pack.
Not really full house either...
I guess everyone had a same plan.
Wanna back hometown.

This situation i actually don't mind it, as well as you give me my space.
But... what make me felt so disappointed is when they not give the one who needed a seat. 
Come on ladies, where's your manners? 
You think this pakcik and makcik strong enough to stand...
Don't give me that innocent face.
Looking them like they are alien.
Four malay young ladies with no heart.
I want to sound all of them, but this pak cik take first action then me.

And what that pak cik did? 
He's thickened face appealing to that indian young boy with her mother aside, to give a seat.
And after that, one of those four malay give a seat for that mak cik.
Really guys?
What a shame culture do you all practice!

When i seen this kind of not very pleasant incidents...
I tried to calm down myself.
Astagfirullah al azim.
What's wrong with this world?
How can they do that.
Even they are not your parents or family members... give your support, your respect.
Hello, it's cost nothing to be kind.
The community is watching you.

To my dearest friends...
I hope none of you will be like them.
Please, I'm not simply judgement people.
But don't do something stupid.
We all have a heart and brain, used that wisely.

My younger sister give me this picture when she fly to Sabah.
Nice shoot!

Tuesday, September 01, 2015



I took the most top fashion challenge last week.
And it's called #7daysofstyle.
All you need is to get ready with the seven style in a week row.
Look simple.

But actually it's pretty hard.
But overall...
I made it!
High five-happy dance.

I posted all, through my Instagram and Facebook account.
Feel free stalking.
So, scroll down please.

Monday look- The best way to boost your mood naturally is wearing someting basic. Basic isn't bad okay, just be chillin' with it.
I prefer jubah and plain shawl
Tuesday look: Style is so much more than just wearing the latest designer threads. It’s all about being a trendsetter and creating your own style journey.
Old school maxi dress, over sized denim shirt and plain shawl.
Wednesday look- I refuse to become a fashion victim. I sure don’t dress like one, but thinking like one. And a denim is a timeless piece that never seems to go out of style.
Just add a grey t-shirt, plain black scarf and pair of sneakers and you're set for a cool 80's look.

Thursday look- Pajamas and pyjamas both refer to loose-fitting clothes worn for sleep. Pajamas is the preferred spelling in American English, while pyjamas is preferred in the main varieties of English from outside North America.
Friday look- If one traditional clothes intends to last longer, it can learn from the baju kurung, to make a successful combination tradition and modernization.
The '11 baju kurung.

Saturday look- Red is the color of extremes. It’s the color of passionate love, seduction, violence, danger, anger, and adventure. Our prehistoric ancestors saw red as the color of fire and blood, energy and primal life forces, and most of red’s symbolism today arises from its powerful associations in the past.
Plain red shawl, long red abstract skirt, and red sneakers as usual. Happy holiday guys! 
Sunday look- One of the reasons why I love the beach so much is because of the water. Ever since I can remember, I have been splashing about in the ocean, the bay and the sound that I live so close to. I simply love the water and even if the air is chilly, I still have to dip my toes in it. It grounds me and brings me peace.
Plain brown scarf, green shirt and grey sweatpants.