THE AUTHOR

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Assalamualaikum and hello, o awesome readers!

I guess I'm pretty cool person. I likes be positive, helping others, writing and exploring.  Also a fan of happy ending. Even life is too serious as it is. This blog i called as my second heart. Everything with Allah blessing, i'll share those awesome moments in my life. Overall i think is a lot about my family. 'Cause i love them....LOL.

Thanks for all your support! It means a lot. Anyway, welcome to my life.

Showing posts with label meet my brother that i'm not proud of. Show all posts
Showing posts with label meet my brother that i'm not proud of. Show all posts

Monday, March 21, 2016

Meet my brother.

Assalamualaikum.

This post not gonna shame me or my family member.
If they feel so, i'm sorry.
But i hope this stories will be benefit in some person who in the same situation or dilemma.
That when you believe there is your end... just believe,
Someone still need you in their life.

Meet my brother.
The only younger brother i have.
A year gap between us.
Brother that i'm not proud of.
And i hate him so much!
Very much.

I don't care about him.
I don't like talk to him, and his existences is pisses me off.

Everything started when we're at high school.
We're not became closed as before,
I understood,
As maturity drag along.
Later... his grade start to drop dramatically.
And mainly be influences by bad friends, i can said.
And, whatever my brother done.
It's all wrong.

Not attend class as scheduling.
Caught smoking in school area.
Involved in fighting.
Not be home as he should be.
Everything seems so normal to him.
Which i wish he just made up for seeking attention.
But no,he did it with emotionless.

I'm the one felt insecure,
When, my personality as a good students be questioning for five years.
How can the sister is so naive but the brother look like one of devil gang?

I cried.
I felt shame though.
I felt they think that my family is not perfect,
And wonderfully,
I swear he didn't freaking care about this.

My parents gave him every opportunity they could.
Like others sibling, we all be praise as same as principle, you know what you're supposed to do.
They trained us to be independent.
'Cause this is how you control the eight up-growing kids.
Everyone okay with it but not him.

He turn the other way round.
I'm not proud of it, brother.

Later, when everyone continued study. He the one not grab it.
As his bad results.
Serve him right!

And not by that, his behavior became worsen.
My home looks like hotel to him.
My 'ayah' madness and my 'emak' tears...  not affect him a bit.
And the top of it is when my father received a called from police station.
What a great-life-story-of-my-brother-gonna-make.
Not once but a lot.
Until my 'ayah' give up.
I'm not blame him.
This is what i called as nightmare in parenting.

Two years we not care about him.
As he also not care about us.
Even when celebration of Hari Raya (Eid day)...
We treat like he not one of our family.
That only we did to make a perfect family.
Smile for everyone.

As the years past, only one person by his side.
My 'emak'
She given advise by advise, hope by hope.
Even he replied with his great cold shoulder.
What a rude!

He is ill.
I really wants to punch him in the face and kill him.
Or let him ended with those AIDS, or whatever.
He doesn't deserve space in this world.
I don't know what he searching in his life.
To insult us?
If so, just open the table and tell us want we can do to change that!
Please.

Until one moments, we can't pretend anymore.
My sister force him to retake the exam.
Twice!
We support him.
We spent money for him.
And then applied to college.
And i think we did it.
Yeah, we did it!
Even i know he hated us.

The three months after orientation, when he come back.
My mother saw he pray.
Do his homework.
Homework he not even used to when he in high school.
And we spread this good news.
Alhamdulillah.

I wish i could go back home and give him a real hug, that i will cried later on.
Showing how happy i'm he's change for his own good.
...
Oh well, lots of people make some mistakes growing up.
Me too.
Bad influence is everywhere, you can be friends with it.
Enjoy it... but if you can't take it.
Please drop and leave it.


When you serve Allah, helping your brother is not a burden... It's an honor.
How many your heart hurts.
Tears by tears.
The everyday du'a.
Believe it, they will a little hope.

My brother what i can said as a 'black-sheep' in my family,
and now he's my favorite person ever.
He show how hard he trying to take a first steps.
And i hope my family member will give forgiveness and let him move on.

Go brother go.
Make me proud of you once.
You can do it.
Insyaallah.

Inspire them, inspire this world.
Even you're not so handsome though.
: )