LIFE: What overthinking does to you

 Hai,

Let's see what overthinking is, thoroughly it is that someone thinking too much instead of acting and doing things. Their mind busy in analyze, comment and imagine better things about it, over and over again. They will come with no ending mind discussion, no decision making and a deep feeling that something is wrong everywhere. This personal habit will prevent them from taking any action. Someone in this situation always in dilemma that make them stuck in one place and waiting for the perfect time to act or move, but in the end they still do nothing. If the problem become more and more bigger, someone can lead to a psychological problems, later linked something like depression or anxiety. So, be aware of anything that you feed your mind.

When I was a childhood, I was a freely person. My parents raised me well with love and passion about how to be a good girl and get a greater life. I let my action make my day, full of passion, think smart and lead to the bright sunshine day in the end. I'm control on my own life, only me that will let everything happens surround later. I'm happy and to make sure my mind full of happiness. If I face the problem or mistake, I make them to the simplest sad and not repeated it again. They're good, and I'm better. And I will smile to the fullest with no regret. 

However, when I start the college study and working time... it changes everything. I start to see what the pressure of the world serve me. The most-reality slap me hard is in how people manners and the judging things. I feel insecure and overthinking about how to be perfectionist in stranger eyes. How should I sit? How should I eat? Is my body posture right? Can I do that? Or I can't? Yes, they control me and I don't like it. Those interaction make my day ''overthinking and so down''. I hate it so much. Randomly, people see it as a normal things in everyday life. They carry on and shied it with fake social media smile. I can't, the more I think-the disaster is coming back to me. My mind full of negativity and darkness, there is no light to even make a little better me. 

When I decided to continue study at University of Malaya, I plans to put myself in isolation zone. I limits people around me, and I want to know what I want to do in future. I don't need fake friends, fake face and regret soul influenced my decision. They will continues to fool me around. It's a no ending trap. Beside just focused on my study, I decides to do what I want. I start eat healthy foods, frequently go back hometown, I go to hiking, do more charity project, join football and bowling competition and contact with only important person. I even shut down my Facebook and main Instagram account. It's hard but I did it. 

Well, it's has been a two years actually from my big decision. Shortly I think and want to tell myself that I deserve better me. I want a truly happiness life and happy ending journey. Only me can make it happens. Only me. Slowly I want myself back and I will do it hard. It's feel so great and alive so far. How I do it?  Just reading the great books, make myself productive with good things, go exercise as necessarily, write down a journal and eat healthy. One more I can said, cut down all attention is surely worth it. The less attention and private I am-the freely high I can fly. In the end, I only come back with positive mind and respective peaceful people around me. My mind so relax and I'm so happy!

Right now? I run after my dreams and goals, not people. Smile!

LIFE: Shiny bright light in the skies

Hi,

I know somehow I'm a super weird person ever live in this earth. And one of my favorite thing to do is to look up to the skies and think about life. I poured all my problems, promises, thoughts to the endless universe above. Maybe perhaps the star will blink more, the sun shine smilingly or someone at Pluto's will hear me and save me. Oh come on... Mars will be residential in next chapter. Then, be hype about all alien invasion soon. 

Get back to the earth, when I see the skies... I will picturing that all the clouds are holding my every dreams-Big or small. The weather is my challenge, sunny day is my favorite and if it's rain then a tears gonna come soon. I dunno, maybe nature hear me well. And for daylight, I will be think about random stuff but if it's night time... It will be more about soul and personal space. 

Deep inside me, I still have a heart to care about. There are a lots to talk about... a revenge towards people, ragging hormones in broken things, human that never understands me or surrounded by annoying noisy issues. I don't want any drama, it's all only in TV. I don't want them all. I want a free life with calm environments. Give me a break-hear me out. 

I'm so glad that in the end of my day, I will be more happy or ease about everything. Maybe the wind slowly blowing away my problems. Then, rise up my mood and hormones to get on my foot. The energy will come from nowhere but it is strong. On the spot, I'm ready to face a new day and this adventure life. I will move forward and no one gonna stop me. Thumbs up!

Five tips to decide if he is your real partner?

Hello,

I know everyone on this earth wants a happy ending in their relationship, me too. Imagine... me and my partner will in a long-lasting relationship until our golden age, also before I close my eyes forever. Sweet romance. Oh-please let it be me. And to do so, I have to find a real partner. A real men that  becomes reality which often bring out the better in me and our future. Here I listed some tips on how to decide this perfect figure...let's do it. Opps. If you're a men, you can change the the title name into she or her as vise versa:

1) His mindset 

I like men with brilliant mind. Maybe because I'm a bit matured than my age, so I need a man that can take care of himself than being a childish forever. I can said, I will not be their next ''mother''. Understood?  In some part I need sense of humor but some part reality hit us hard in fact I need he to be serious in time event. Also, his psyche will raise my children and their manners-not by his body and good looks. So, I need to choose wisely. 

2) His financial

I want a stability in financial, that later I shouldn't need to worried about my spending in sixty and about my children education too. I know I can't get a super rich man to marry me, so I just want a simple man that interesting enough in manage our financial. Let say he must know the expenses going on in the home, maybe sometimes help in groceries shopping, and think before buy something useless. That's because I prefer minimalist.

3) His religion

A real men should strongly believe in his religion. In many religion, it surely will talks about manner someone should be and how to respect others. If he can shows a respect towards me as his partner, in the same time he will reveal a good communication in our relationship. I know communication is very important in getting lasting relationship. So, I need to treasure this part deeply. Later, he can lead me and our little family towards better life. Ouwwww... Nice words. 

4) His cleanliness

I don't want to be a slave or maid in my own house even when I have a kid. My partner should know why tidiness is very important, and later my kids will learn from us. Not gonna said I'm freaking OCD person...but simply clean okay. So, how can I know that he is a decent man that later will maintain our home cleanliness? Not I hope he only dress to impress me, nah. Maybe I can check it out on how good he in keeping himself well groomed. Oh-Yes!

5) His anger/egoistic management

Anger and egoistic is part of life, but the real question is how we manage it? Every second, our hormones will be up and down, and the environment will messed it up more. So, men pretend be more aggressive angrier than a women. I want a peaceful married life not an abused one. It's not healthy for my skin to have a blue patch. Hehehheh... And I also want a less egoistic men to be discuss in everyday routine. Keep calm, why need to be so egoistic? Cool down and think something peaceful-Okay.

LIFE: How to tell the kids a real answer

Hi,

Few days ago, my sister shared about their kids life. Which they start to ask about their late father - Al Fatihah to him. If I'm in her shoes, I also dunno how to response. But, they should be exposes about it and face it. That's the reality.

When the he kids attend the school, and see how lovely everyone had own father...the question start to raise. And abut how many times you repeated it, they still does not understand. And you just have to make it in simple answer and not so complicated one. Keep strong sister or any mother out there who...in the same situation. 

And as a good teacher, please be aware every question you gonna asked your student. Person private life may looks simple as kids at very young age but did you know how they feel inside. Do you always be there for them, no. So please be caution in every words. A sharp tongue can cut a whole heart...

This maybe looks so cruel or too rush. But until when? Keep a secret towrads their entire life. You must be so selfish. They're growing up human, they know what going on in this world. If the reality hurt them hard-Just make sure you tell them, you'll be there at their side forever. They need it after all of this.

I know my niece and nephew are strong than ultra-man. It's Apiz favorite superhero. Whatever storm and thunder comes, this aunt will always be by their side. Hug and love for my sister with their three kids. Fighting!

LIFE: It's okay to be stubborn

Hi.

Let's get it straight to the point. Do you ever in a situation that you feel that you're to stubborn to say even a yes? A nod that everyone want you to follow and follow the system, but you're too hard to approach? U-huh, I can said that whatever you're in my condition...if you feel right in your own path, just go on with it and move on.

They can isolate you from normal routine, not going for lunch together or even let you make fun of yourself. This is where true friends really come in handle, and you can remove this toxic relationship to the rubbish bin. You don't need them in your life because if they can respect you in this situation, how can they support you in worse case? Why still waiting a hope?

Keep your head up, chest forward and straight body because this is you! This is what your identity and your pathway. This is what you are doing right now. If they can move on, you the one that move. This is what it is, the history already happened. A trusty, a sincerely is from the heart...just pray for the best about you and luck for them.