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Until when sin will be collected in this life?

 Assalamualaikum,

Few days ago, I'm off for one day.  So, after night shift and nap for four hours-I make my mind on the spot that I want to go to Masjidil Haram and do prayer Zuhur and Asr. Alhamdulillah, I ate ''nasi goreng'' with eggs before and full for awhile. Then, performed sunat enter Masjid-Taubat and etc. Also, more Quran recited and drank Zam Zam water. It make my day!

One hour and half before Asr-I want to see Kaaba in of my eyes and I go down and surround Kaaba with Muslim Muslimah from around the world. Still full from Hajj people. I pray for myself-family-friends-and etc. I really miss Kaaba because Murabatha mission/Hajj mission-15 days working non stop. I'm so tired of everything and when I see Kaaba it drain out my bad things and given me positive energy even with hot weather and sweat. I fall hard in deen.

After that, another 45 minutes before Asar-I want to go for 1st floor and stay there. But, before I walked further, I found a good place to only watch Kaaba. MasyaAllah-so peaceful and everyone I saw are  and full of hopes-wishes and more prayer. I'm felt even great that I'm coming there and with bless more. It make my thought going beyond wire and sometimes so down to earth feeling. My heart cried and adrenaline rush in every  veins -for every of my own questions.

I asked Allah, when is my end life? 

I asked Allah, how is it  my last breath? 

I asked Allah, where am I-my grave? 

I asked Allah, how balancing my deen and sins?

I asked Allah,  if everyday is full of sin-why wake me up to make more sins? 

I asked Allah, did my deen/pahala enough for His heaven?

I asked Allah, what should I do to gain more deen in this life?

I asked Allah-I asked again-I even asked Allah too much. I asked until Asar Adhan heard, but Allah always listening. It's me who tired of my own thought and Oh Allah please accept my apologizes, accept it fully ya Allah. I'm so low, I don't have anything. The hell is hard and I can't with it. I want your heaven/ Jannah and please bless my day and second of it. Guide me the right way, the journey with fighting for Islam. More practices of sunnah Prophet Muhammad and beneficial time management to do what make me gaining deen. 

InsyaAllah. Don't lose hope!

Comments

  1. Anonymous8/01/2022 2:17 am

    Aamiin.. doakan Sy smpai kesana juga..

    ReplyDelete

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