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In dilemma

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Assalamualaikum. Bit feeling like brain tak center when i'm typing this post. Someone may shoot me somewhere somehow. Wrong target la woi. Or it's just me the one who actually yang in a wrong target. Astagfirullah al-azim. Serabut duh! I need to luahkan all of this. What my otak think before it's exploded. Even in every doa selepas solat i cried when i talked to Allah about this clingy things. I felt useless. I felt ashamed. I shouldn't have through this. It's so haramm and lari from my Islamic life goals even it's felt so right. Oh no. As i knew this is my personal blog. So i think i can trust this page and you, who hardly stalk my blog. Kept this secret between us. Let's get terus terang, it's about a men. Who make my world up and down, thick and thin and spinning sampai pening. Not so handsome duh. Either not even my taste actually. Jauh sekali nak kata ada 'hot killer body'. Or even a billionaire line. Pelik kan.