ME: I'm secretive

Assalamualaikum.

I think i'm too secretive, mysterious by myself. I truly admit it with no pressure.
If you all realized, when someone asked the question that I'm not comfortable with it. I will quickly change the subject. Or if to hard, i not mind to answer it either.
Sorry.
Sometimes, I preferred silent than spoke about what i felt.

Because my mind is different from what your mind thought. Yeah.
I'm the one always seen good thing in everything. Zero negativity of course.
Someday, i knew, it will happen.
Where I'm afraid too, that i will hurts someone feeling because of my words later on. Who knows, right.
That may we are not in same boat anymore.

With this, I more preferred all my social media are in a private account. And less friends.
No friends is better, duh.
Not a attention seeker absolutely.
The more I received friend request, the more it's make me in miserable.
Sorry again guys.
But i tried hard to approved it even it's late or some i may not make it.
Just, is like they tried to intruder my life. Or I somehow don't want they read what my thought is.
I felt insecure.

Few years back, I'm not like this. I am a friendly and hyperactive girl. More hippie and crazy from what I'm today.
I didn't mind taking pictures together either.
But something happened in my early teenagers life. That change everything.
Everything.

Bad.

Changes my mindset to see what others think of me.
Then I became passive, don't like any attention and mostly not fans of picture things anymore.

Not even my parents, my siblings or my friends catch what really happened. No one knew. Why i change drastically.
Because i still kept giving them the smiley face.
Like it's not a big deal.
And obviously, i will not talked about this in here too. May time will tell.
When the right moment are. When I found my trustworthy, and my self-esteem are higher than the sky.
Even I treated this blog as my private diaries. But stalkers are everywhere. Do you?

My name is Adibah.

One day after open house on Eid session. Someone asked me, why so hard to invite me to took a picture together.
Or maybe a picture of me and him. At least duh.
And he sent random picture of me with full mouth of pineapple tart. Me walking with phones in my hand.
And some others not so cute pose.

Why and why?
He still want me to feedback.
I just said, why selfie too much? Didn't one picture doesn't good enough?
I'm ugly by the way.
But I'm not giving that reason. Not want to be fired back. But. As always, i change the subject.

Some people have their own reason. Their own secret.
How hard you tried for them to reveal it, that's a time you need to fed up and just giving them a space and respect.
Two things only.
They will appreciate it much.
Believe me.

If you the selected as the trustworthy one, keep on supporting.
They will appreciate it much too