ME: Let's talk about myself
Assalamualaikum.
I'm not a person who like to express myself.
To shout out my feeling... is not so me.
But, when i have to talk about myself.
I likes to warn, that i hate people put attentions to me.
I want it other way round.
That the main things you should know.
If you seen my Facebook page, I only have a 200+- friends.
That are the people i comfortable with.
Sorry for those unapproved friends requests.
But, still I don't know how i can followed by 60 person.
Geez.
Even my profile picture is just abstract looking art.
I'm also not the one post my face picture if have any event.
Sorry for 120 pending post that my friends tag me that i'm not proceed to my wall.
Bit annoying, duh.
Sorry.
And did you know that i already delete my first Instagram IG because too many stranger followers.
And some comments which i think, can you better not post that.
By the way... months ago,i tried make a new one...
Privately.
Hope they not realize it's me.
For chatting part, i only have whats app.
Which have some people i already blocked.
Because of certain part their message that i cannot accept.
In my way.
And sorry for some message that i'm not reply.
Either i busy or your message just like a hammer to my head.
I hate when people know more about me than myself,
I hate when people want to know where i live,
I hate when people try to talk the way i dress up,
I hate when people comments the foods i ate.
I hate when people worry about me,
I hate when people protective over me.
Mostly i hate when they think they can make me out of myself.
I hate everything.
Really hate it.
And i'm not joking around.
Sound like i'm having a hard time, or self esteem issues?
But i didn't.
I'm happy with myself.
And my family love me.
I just hate people in the society.
Included my neighborhood.
And their attentions too...
It's so scaring me.
I felt uncomfortable.
I felt insecure.
Why i hate society?
Because main things, they like to judge you.
Scanning you from their eyes, toes to head, and the results surely more negatively i think.
Before you can utter a first single word.
And a lie too... later on.
Either them tell me a lie.
Or i should be a liar to save myself.
Whatever it goes...
Big or small,
Lies are lies.
And how can i built a relationship if i'm not believe a pieces of truth among us.
So, I think why pretend you care if you're not.
Don't force yourself to makes others happy,
Or treats others person like a competitor.
Can you be like me which like i always do...
Be an angel side.
... Be a good person, be a nice human.
If they hurt you... smile.
One quote i heard, be happy in front of your haters... it kills them.
Also, try minimize in involving things you think yourself cannot handle it by your own.
More safely this way.
And be invisible if needed.
Makes each other free.
Win-win situation.
But it's not ending here when i find out that i have some secret admirer, i just like... freaking awkward!
How can they like me?
What make a sense to them to like me?
I think i'm not mingle around too much.
Or drawing any attention in what i'm doing, i think...
And,
I don't think i deserving this.
And with this,
They make me want to go back home and stay alone in my room.
With a sign at doorknob,
"Don't disturb me if you want a peace."
Or to stay in one corner corridor and wore very long hijab and purdah that cover all myself.
Why me, why?
I think i should ask one of them.
Why can i be an attention to them?
What makes them realize my existing?
I should ask this questions...
In one day.
Is it weird that i don't like any attentions?
I think not.
So why should not you respect my space and let be care my own problem.
Let me be alone.
Let me be what i want to be.
Let me rules my own life,
That's better.
: )
I'm not a person who like to express myself.
To shout out my feeling... is not so me.
But, when i have to talk about myself.
I likes to warn, that i hate people put attentions to me.
I want it other way round.
That the main things you should know.
If you seen my Facebook page, I only have a 200+- friends.
That are the people i comfortable with.
Sorry for those unapproved friends requests.
But, still I don't know how i can followed by 60 person.
Geez.
Even my profile picture is just abstract looking art.
I'm also not the one post my face picture if have any event.
Sorry for 120 pending post that my friends tag me that i'm not proceed to my wall.
Bit annoying, duh.
Sorry.
And did you know that i already delete my first Instagram IG because too many stranger followers.
And some comments which i think, can you better not post that.
By the way... months ago,i tried make a new one...
Privately.
Hope they not realize it's me.
For chatting part, i only have whats app.
Which have some people i already blocked.
Because of certain part their message that i cannot accept.
In my way.
And sorry for some message that i'm not reply.
Either i busy or your message just like a hammer to my head.
I hate when people know more about me than myself,
I hate when people want to know where i live,
I hate when people try to talk the way i dress up,
I hate when people comments the foods i ate.
I hate when people worry about me,
I hate when people protective over me.
Mostly i hate when they think they can make me out of myself.
I hate everything.
Really hate it.
And i'm not joking around.
Sound like i'm having a hard time, or self esteem issues?
But i didn't.
I'm happy with myself.
And my family love me.
I just hate people in the society.
Included my neighborhood.
And their attentions too...
It's so scaring me.
I felt uncomfortable.
I felt insecure.
Why i hate society?
Because main things, they like to judge you.
Scanning you from their eyes, toes to head, and the results surely more negatively i think.
Before you can utter a first single word.
And a lie too... later on.
Either them tell me a lie.
Or i should be a liar to save myself.
Whatever it goes...
Big or small,
Lies are lies.
And how can i built a relationship if i'm not believe a pieces of truth among us.
So, I think why pretend you care if you're not.
Don't force yourself to makes others happy,
Or treats others person like a competitor.
Can you be like me which like i always do...
Be an angel side.
... Be a good person, be a nice human.
If they hurt you... smile.
One quote i heard, be happy in front of your haters... it kills them.
Also, try minimize in involving things you think yourself cannot handle it by your own.
More safely this way.
And be invisible if needed.
Makes each other free.
Win-win situation.
But it's not ending here when i find out that i have some secret admirer, i just like... freaking awkward!
How can they like me?
What make a sense to them to like me?
I think i'm not mingle around too much.
Or drawing any attention in what i'm doing, i think...
And,
I don't think i deserving this.
And with this,
They make me want to go back home and stay alone in my room.
With a sign at doorknob,
"Don't disturb me if you want a peace."
Or to stay in one corner corridor and wore very long hijab and purdah that cover all myself.
Why me, why?
I think i should ask one of them.
Why can i be an attention to them?
What makes them realize my existing?
I should ask this questions...
In one day.
Is it weird that i don't like any attentions?
I think not.
So why should not you respect my space and let be care my own problem.
Let me be alone.
Let me be what i want to be.
Let me rules my own life,
That's better.
: )
